out of luck..not yet!

I am at the airport from past two hours.. reading a novel mixed with browsing so i don't fall asleep and lose my bags...i have 6 more hours to kill... no one to talk to..a blizzard alert at precisely the time my flight is scheduled to land.. and the fortune cookie that accompanied my dinner told me to share my good and my bad fortune with my friends (which under current pessimistic conditions i would have interpreted as 'might have to go back home after 8 hours of wait gone to waste', however i refrain from doing so to still keep some faith in the fact that a bad day could after all turn around...) .. i have been the last to leave this town which means after countless hugs and good byes at the bus stations (trust me nothing like a hug from a friend when you're going on a journey..) i finally left without someone even shaking my hand.. the bus from Bloomington to Indianapolis had just one passenger for its journey, me! and being Christmas all the possible shops at the airport are closed(which means no coffee and certainly nothing to eat...even the usual Starbucks that stays open 24 hours and 7 days a week has shut its shop at 11 today..)..sometimes you just run out of luck i guess.. I have kept some of the coffee that i got about 2 hours ago with me even though its gone cold now to keep me awake and alive incase i get too hungry..

A steady stream of people arriving from far away places disturbs the silence of the lobby every few minutes. Relatives wearing Santa caps give them tight hugs and take them along...makes me wish for august right in the middle of December when i could go home too..

12 hours later ....
I finally made it to New York.. amidst some really bad turbulence and a constant fear or flights being canceled...Its snowing really bad now.. probably the worst i have ever seen...The snow on the terrace opposite to my house started as just a thin layer and is now about a foot high flowing over the ledges..But i finally did make it..To NY ..away from the loneliness of a town that was nothing without the smiles that adorn it. Amongst a town that promises so many things to watch that you don't have the time to think about whats missing...

PS: In the pic the blizzard waited just long enough for me to reach here.

Whitewashed...

This December was the 1st time in my life i saw and experienced snowfall. 1st time that i realized 'Oh! this isn't rain.. these are small lil tiny snow flakes!!' They stuck on my winter coat and refused to melt. This was the 1st time that i got to observe them and realize they actually do look like those pictures on Christmas greeting cards. Had my 1st walk across the street to my bus stop and tasted snow..and as crazy as this sounds, walking with your mouth open to feel the chilled snow flakes dissolve on your tongue..it does feel great. 

Winter brings in the curse of  'binging on anything you find' upon you and hence the completely strange cravings for totally unhealthy oily Chinese food. Which means you are tempted to drive out at 12 am and drag your roommates along with you to find  'The' place that will satiate your cravings. After 20 mins of driving in circles around downtown to find a suitable place we finally abandoned the search for 'The' Chinese place and were ready to settle for anyplace that would be open at that hour as nothing could satisfy us but 'Chinese....'. Finally some place was still open and we entered about 10 mins before they close. After delaying their shutting down time by an hour and our tummies full from the yummy, 'not healthy at all', 12 am chinese food we went searching for our car which by now was covered by snow and what better way to clear off all that snow if not for a snow fight. :) :) ....A lot of slipping, laughing, aiming, shooting, running and screaming minutes later...

i had had my 1st snow fight... without gloves or a snow jacket on..The snow went inside our clothes and inspired impromptu dances to get it out. Our hands ached from the cold. We put the cooking stove on to get some color back in them (Blue in such circumstances is not a color you want see your hands in.. plus you only have 10 fingers afterall... )

The sky was a bright orange at 1 am in the morning. We later realized it was due to all the light that was reflected by the snow. I was way to tired to stay up beyond this point and there ended my 1st snow adventure. The next morning the view from the balcony was amazing. Everything was covered under a white blanket of snow. It was beautiful and cold. Like as if someone up there decided to white wash the world every year before he could color it again with a different combination of colors this time around. Different strokes each year...

PS: the view outside my apartment and at left most corner my car that serves as 'ammunition reserve' to make snow balls when your parked outside the restaurant without a shovel.

November Rain...

It's that time of the year here in US when the Christmas spirit is yet to be magical and the thanksgiving spirit is responsible for making your days all warm and fuzzy. The beautiful colors of fall have all dried up and the snow yet to come. So what remains... November rain!!
Rains in Mumbai and US are way too different from each other. In Mumbai, the rain is warm and the wind is cool, in US the rain is cold and the wind even more colder. Somehow the sweet smell that drifts up when cool water drops fall on the dried up ground doesn't exist here or maybe its just because the windows have to be closed over here all the time that we do not realize. In Mumbai you feel like getting drenched, looking up at the sky and smiling. here its so cold when it rains I go running into my closet to search for an extra jacket that would fit snuggly under my raincoat so not a drop gets through... In Mumbai i carried an umbrella and purposely closed it up when i walked back home, got wet, and told mom that the wind was just too much for my umbrella to handle. In US my only umbrella has lost its precious button and hence the ability to open. I cursed myself a thousand times today morning when i realized i had yet not yet bought a new one to replace that. Consequences of procrastination : Stuff the laptop compartment in your bag with free newsletters to avoid your laptop from taking a shower while you run to the nearest bus-stop shelter. Use your coat to cover the bag till you realize you aren't a polar dog meant to run through temperatures this low and decide to screw what happens with the laptop and cover yourself before you realize you have a few digits missing. I never knew that all the sneakers you got back in Mumbai that advertised "how your feet could breath through your shoes yada-yada" were actually true. I feel like duct taping all those tiny vents in my shoes when the wind is too cold or its raining outside, cause believe me if there was any more ventilation than this i'd rather walk just in my socks and not wear any shoes at all.
 Rains in Mumbai would mean mom is making hot Pakoda's at home cause dad loves them. In Mumbai no matter how much it rained my 'hot cup of tea' stays hot for long enough for me to sip it with pleasure, in US i have to reheat my cup of tea at least 3 times before i can finish it and not have gobbled it down.
However in Mumbai or in US, long conversations with friends over hot coffee/tea always remain the most rocking part of your day, a good book always seems to get you out of my rainy blues and into a great mood, a mushy/funny movie is always appreciated, a hot tea/coffee cup in your hand (even if its reheated a million times) is always welcome, warm socks and that snuggly jacket is always searched for, wish to meet your loved one is always gossiped over and mom made Pakoda's are always remembered.

PS: Pic of somethings that make a cold day worthwhile..

Unplanned part - 2 and more..

Pack you bags and get out was out mantra for the 3 days i was at Pittsburg. One such chilly morning when we started out with "very well made plans" of visiting the nearby temple since it was Diwali and visiting the temple would have been so auspicious, however then we heard the bells ring at a nearby cathedral and  the door was wide open. Need i say more. we were in  in a second and it was so beautiful. Stained glass windows depicting bible verses, a hundred candles lit at the feet of a humble statue of lord Jesus. Knelt and prayed for a while and just as we were heading towards the candles to light one and go out we met a fairly old gentleman who started telling us about his life. How he had gone from being wasted youth who was addicted to alcohol to meet his wife 'love of his life' and  how she had inspired him to take charge of his life and be an entrepreneur. PHe is the owner of a  medical equipments form called DMR in Pittsburg. When we checked out on net later on it indeed was true. He said some really profound things to us. The one that stuck with me was "Courage and Faith thats all you need". He kind of gave our trip a big closure when he talked about life so passionately, about being who you are and how Joann of arc dared to do things she never though were possible. After this we waited for two hours to execute our planned trip to the temple but this trip was never about having a plan...That church visit and the candle lit there was our diwali prayer. True when someone says.. "God is a presence"..present here..present where you want to pray to him :)

We spent the last evening at Pittsburg reading at a coffee shop, well trying to read as i tried to concentrate but all so many people walking outside kept distracting me. After a while i gave up and just stared out of the window. Got some postcards to mail and ate some fantastic Indian cuisine at night inspite of not being hungry..damn these taste buds will kill me one day. 

This was a few days back and now i am successful back to Bloomington, the town that i am have grown to love. Today the weather was so lovely i just couldn't keep myself at home. A lovely park bench and a book to fall in love with. What else do you need to live? :)

The evening ended with a swim after a long long time. I can feel a lot of forgotten body parts right now!!

Somethings are best, unplanned...

What is this life if full of care... we have no time to stand and stare... :)
                                                   - Leisure by William Henry Davis
This trip has been like the ones many of us plan and never get to execute.. The one trip without any plans.
The flight braved through a lot of clouds and made me feel like i was on some bumpy, roller coaster ride. Me and my friend actually started wondering what our last wishes would be if this was it for us :P. One and half hour after we had been airborne we landed safely at (very wet) Cleaveland Ohio. The connecting flight was even more of an adventure as the pilot seemed to be an ardent fan or F1 racing cause he turned the plane on the run way in speeds that seemed unreal for planes to be reaching at least when they are on ground. and as soon as he turned instead of the customary stop that planes take before getting into the 'take off' mode just gained more speed and within a a minute we were airborne.. phew! that was ...well something!!

The drive from the airport to mad-mex (a Mexican place that is supposed to be famous but i didn't like a thing that they served ) gave me a small glimpse of  a beautiful town on the banks of Hudson. It kept throwing up bridges after bridges lit up in a million ways and each built with a new shape in mind. Somehow I always seem to take a walk in the new place i am in either by coincidence or intentionally immediately after i reach. A 1st feel of the place. As luck would have it, our Pitsburg friend had to drop off his zip car and hence gave e an opportunity to see pitsburg out on the streets. The walk back gave me a view that i knew i would rarely get a chance to see. A walk down the empty roads of a new town at midnight. A town bathing in its own beauty. Minus the people. Just the buildings that are lit up in their own glory . People studying in the library. Cathedrals that have their domes bright and shiny, as if looking over the town. A visit to a gas station to arrange for tomorrows breakfast and the fear in the cashiers eyes when he sees someone a little too much in frolicking mode enter the shop. The walk home with my breath heavy with mist as the wind got colder.

The next day was exactly how  I could not have planned it.  It was raining when we got out of the house. The wind was cold but the streets filled with students. Again a different side than what i had experienced the previous night. Both CMU  and UPit are beautiful. The buildings are a good mix of old and modern architecture. Some even a 100 years old. Every hallway smells of fresh brewed coffee and old books. Every corner filled with students and laptops. Concert rooms humming with live recitals still ring in my ears. A little farther down the hallway a course on bagpipes mesmerizes you.Sculptures made from soft white stones adorn the hallways and there at the center of the campus stands a huge art work called "a walk to the sky" which is actually a huge pole slanted at about 30 degrees and has people walking on it skywards. Seems a little out of place but who am i to judge when IU campus has a mermaid and a huge red 'almost circle' as artwork. However  all these places reminded me of my school back in Bloomington and how everything about it is so much more beautiful. It also makes me realize i need to go explore my neighborhood more. That the best parts are yet unseen.

Next came the best part of the trip. A random walk without any plans made ahead of time, that made us take an impromptu break at Starbucks where I had some divine Cinnamon flavored coffee. Against the cool wind the burning hot coffee tasted like 'life' itself...A few steps ahead and it was time for another break, this time at the CMU museum of natural history, but as all unplanned things go we ended up chatting in the cafe for an hour rather than visiting the museum itself. Sitting at a place and watching the town go by tells you an entirely different story about any town. Students that crossed the roads. People huddling up close to each other as they walked passed. A lot of colorful umbrellas. A woman with all american clothes and pretty Indian earnings (jhumka's) that walked past with a huge smile on her face. A family enjoying a sumptuous meal on the table next to us. All of them a part of this town, its all of them that make this one different from the rest that exist. This town was more of youth and less of business suites walking around. This town was more of books and coffee and less of football. This town was more of food and museums and less of bars.

We did ultimately reach our destination (downtown) at about 6 in the evening. Ate at a Chinese restaurant where we ended up ordering just a lot of vegetables and no curry.  The fried rice was the best i have tasted or maybe i was just very hungry.  my friend looked at google maps and i looked at the shop names. Guess who was to discover the Burlington coat factory first?? I can't believe i beat google maps to it. Spent a lot of time trying on different hats, almost all the shades that were on display and every shoe that was available in a size larger than 8 (Disappointed as there were not much that were that big). Then some crazy impulse overtook us and in freezing temperatures we went to McD's and got ourselves some even more freezing mocha's. Up untill now only our bodies were cold now every inch of my body within me was freezing too, but it was a sinful experience none the less. A perfect unplanned 1st day ended with a sumptuous meal at an Indian restaurant with some really fantastic Indian food all complete with Samosa's, Naan's and Punjabi vegetable curries with paneer and not the usual tofu we find at every nook and corner. A meal where we ate cause our taste buds wouldn't allow us to stop even thoug i am sure if your stomachs could speak they were screaming bloody murder. A walk back home into the warmth of the night and the onset of diwali completed my day 'in another place', 'another town' and 'another everything'..But it will always be back to you.. just not today! Let me unplan for a few more moments here.

Pics: a bridge from the many during the drive from the airport and the freezing frape mocha's that two freezing souls devoured just on impulse.. :)

Breakaway...

In a way, I need a change From this burnout scene Another time, another town Another everything But it's always back to you....
             - Shattered by OAR


Sometimes you need to take a few songs seriously and act on them.. So in a period of two days we  booked tickets and i am in Pittsburg! Bloomington is addictive. I realize it now that i am away from it. I knew i'd miss it earlier too but i miss it more when i have a lot on my mind and not the familiar terrain to get all of it out on. Life makes you go all weired ways before it can show you what the right one is.. I have seen a lot of the weired ways i could go. Some are so becoming, they pull you into them. But i read somewhere one time "There is always a choice..". This time its my chance to chose. This trip is my nirvana, a choice to chose a few things to leave behind to find new addictions. I need to get back to things i used to love doing. Go back to swimming, now that i have the time. Go back to running, now that i can go back to it. Lose myself in things that always needed time and i could not give it to them. 
Another song that comes to mind : 

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here!

-    Dare you to move by Switchfoot

so true...


PS: was supposed to be posted last night... in the pic ..my path to salvation...where i can go on long long walks all by myself..

Moments like this...

So even if your day is really busy and you would probably not find enough time to sleep or cook there are still a few moments in life that make you stop in your tracks.. take a breath and wonder "yeah that definitely makes a difference in me"...
Living so far away from home has given me a chance to come up with quiet a few of these moments..not all are positive but none the less they made a difference...moments when i discovered that i can actually stay away from my family and not die makes me feel strong. To see people being extra ordinary leaders and take control of situations where you are not sure of yourself makes me feel confident of being able to do that someday, to know that 'kind' exist somewhere. To see people as calm as the breeze helped me realize that that's probably something i want to be. To keep a smile on my face when the going gets tough, to not worry bout the judgment made on me..these are the ones that unlike calm water do not ripple out at the slightest provocation but instead find a way around the obstacles they face. A few innocent smiles and shared secrets makes me realize that its not impossible to find friends.. that the innocence of friendship does exist somewhere even amongst all that is said and done... The fact that life still inspires me here to do something better ..something bigger ..... It makes me realize i am not here to wait on time.. that i have to keep moving on..
Life here teaches you to know the importance of little things in life and not always wait on a huge occasion to celebrate... making 'vegetable curry' successfully calls for a photograph and tasting each others kitchen disasters connects us...i have learned to live life differently here.. to live life in moments.. to let them inspire me..

PS: credits for tittle to my very recent friend and pic taken on a walk on a windy sunday morning..

You know you're in USA when....

1) You carry around 2 steel bottles/ travel mugs, one for water and the other for coffee to every class.
2) You have fruit flavored yogurt instead of plain old curd.
3) You check if its going to rain on your cell phone and not out of the window before you get out of the house.
4) You search for a paper napkin even when you know the tap is 10 steps away.
5) You see hand sanitizers on reception desks.
6) You put on your laptop on before you get out of your bed.
7) The only radio frequency you tune into is Pandora (which is not a frequency at all..).
8) You eat 'ranch sauce' with any and everything that is served to you.
9) Every meal consists of a ton of lettuce + pickle + jalapenos +RANCH + (Bread or Rice)
10) Every one has an energy bar stashed away somewhere in their bag.
11) People drink water from tap at home but would pay a dollar for it in college.
12) Everyone you meet will ask you "hey hows it goin?" and rarely wait for your answer (i am still trying to fugue out how do you reply to that so as your not the one giving a huge answer which you end up mumbling to yourself)
13) When you chose your milk after reading the %fat on it. (2% rocks..)
14) You have skimmed milk which is even worst than what your 'doodhwala' (milkman) used to deliver at your doorstep and you still buy it after all the protest marches you went for against adulteration of milk back home.

15) You hear the word 'like' about 5 times in every sentence.
16) When you have more to read in a week for assignments than you had for a semester back home.
16) When start asking ppl "how many miles" instead of kilometers.
17) You stock Indian snack beneath your study table so your classmates don't come home and finish your favorite ones.
18) When you buy bags of cereal that look as big as they sell dog food into and you realize you actually live on this stuff.
19) All the people that you know have names which sound like Hollywood stars or names that you, for the love of god, can't pronounce.
20) You are being served Pizza at every function or social you attend.
21) You find your whole class at the local bar every friday night.
22) You see more beer at every social than there are people around.
23) You get lost on the road and there is not a soul who you could ask for directions.
24)All 'Bills' are actually 'Williams' and almost all 'nicks' are actually nicholas, nikola, nikhil etc etc ...
25)You suddenly love all hindi songs..new, old... even himesh reshamiya!!
26) You find it easier to own a car or have a dog than have a friend.

PS: Those things in that pic are my staple diet  :) :)

A whole new world....

A month down in the U.S of A, the land of dreams as they say. The only song that comes to my mind when i try to summarize my 1st few days here would be "Bitter sweet symphony....That's life"...I landed in New York and lugged 4 super heavy suitcases into a taxi who's driver refused to help out ..after an almost broken finger, really sore arms and jet lagged mind i finally met a friend.. The way you feel when you're walking down an unknown path and see a familiar face is truly priceless. 'Chicken over rice' on road side stands felt just like 'vada pavs' in Mumbai.. Times square in all its glory, the Empire State building standing tall, long walk to the Brooklyn bridge, the statue of liberty shimmering in the afternoon sun and numerous round in all the subway trains all felt like an adventure trip. Just the way Alice would wander off into her dreamworld maybe.
                    Many have told me that you eventually do fall in love with New York if you stay there long enough. 2days have given me a fair idea about why they told me that. I reached Indianapolis the next day and as I stepped out of the airport and for the 1st time i realized i wasn't home anymore. It felt as if i was still back in India..some distant place maybe on vacation maybe.. but somewhere i knew i wasn't goin home for a long time. That this blue room was my home for some time to come now..(My room is painted with the darkest blue you could find ..i have no clue why anyone would do that..)

A month and many many experiences later i have somehow come to love this small town. If you own and can drive a car you can possibly take a trip across bloomington in about 15 mins but if you don't have a car and you need salt in your food and just realize you have none left in the closet its a painful 20 mins walk to the nearest shop..and i have to admit it i have had my fare share of these walks by now..The 1st few days i must have walked enough to complete a mini marathon i think. I walked to the stores. back from the stores. walked to get food ..money.. chairs ...beds... just walked and walked. Stood for 10 mins at a traffic light wondering why the sign wouldn't turn to "walk" before figuring out there was a button you need to press so that it could change...went for a 20 min walk got lost and reached home an hour later...Slipped and fell on the road. tore my only pair of grey trousers and got bruised..Applied as much sunscreen on my face as i would have used on my full body back in India and still got tanned...spent as much on buying a guitar as people have spent on getting an iphone..been stumped at the punctuality of the bus service..Played badminton, volleyball with some fantastic people...finally had some domestic friends...learned to play 'flip the cup' ..cooked with my roomy while youtube played all old hindi songs that only my dad used to listen to..got addicted to coffee...and learned to enjoy some really small things in life that otherwise would just get done in seconds.. In short the past one month has been crazy..hectic..ridiculously expensive (200 rs = 4$ for a coffee..r you kidding me!!!), living on pizza and all the possible things you could create if you put bread and cheese together..but its been fun. It a side of life that i have never known would become a part of me someday. Seen a different world. Seen people who know exactly what they want in life and wondered how i would get to that point and then at some point wondered if i really did want to be there.

But this part of my life's has just begun here.. Its an adventure...its a lotta work ...and sometimes it gets scary and sometimes it gets a little lonely...but none the less its a different chapter in my book. Something that's so new that i can't even imagine what tomorrow would look like.. but i know i want to be there... to feel it..

PS: I was feeling really blue one day and had gone to get stuff at walmart when i saw this ridiculously expensive book that i bought just cause i loved what was written on its cover.  The pic taken is the cover of this same book and it reads "The only requirement of having a dream is believing in it. - Molly Barker"

Taking flight....

Let go of fear and fly..

Spread my wings and seize the sky..

Believe in yourself tonight.

Run...leap and take flight...

Rainy day....

Flooded roads, traffic jams, frustrated drivers is what you can see in Mumbai when the rains begin. But if you roll down the window of you AC car you will see a different site. Cool breeze just waiting for you to roll your window down, the rain that it brings along, the street kids stomping around in potholes filled with water, the desperate attempt of a saree clad 'aunty' to save herself from the big splash that the bus going along side her rickshaw is going to make, the street lights as they look from your half rolled wet window.
When it rains it makes me want to go on long walks, to pester mom to make bhajiya or just sit with a steaming cup of hot tea on my window. And when its late at night and i am at my laptop conveniently located besides my window it makes me want to get my guitar out and forget the virtual world.
A few days back i went on my terrace and got throughly wet in the rain. I stayed there till the chill had spread to my bones and i couldnt stop shivering. The only song that played in my mind on repeat was...
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
by hillary duff ....
Its experiences like these that take you back to your roots. Remind you of the innocent things long forgotten. Things that we dint need reminders bout when we were kids. The most simple things in life. The rainy days, when we used to run around in our building compounds fearlessly at speeds that felt as if we were flying..Where the thrill was beyond the fear in your mom's voice telling you to slow down.The victory was more than the fear of a scrapped knee. 

For some rains are bout sorrow. For some bout romance. For me they are about freedom and about being fearless about being me again. The simple 'me' without any complications. Bout waking my dreams, feeling the thunder and coming clean. 


PS : Pic taken at a traffic light on a rainy evening with the window being half rolled down.

Crushed

Ever since we are young we get this crushing feeling from inside like all my organs were falling into a spiral into some dark hole somewhere in the pit of your stomach and would disappear any moment.. Well as i got older i realized that's what it was i was having a crush on someone. I miss that now. I wonder how come i don't crush that easily now. A Few years back it used to come and go like the clouds in the sky perhaps. Come without reason n go before you knew it had ever been there.
A guy who lived opposite my house, My mech professor, A cute friend, The president of CSI ...crazy stuff and these are the only ones i can maybe remember something bout .. Many more gone in a day or in an hour...And at that time no one else could be more mesmerizing than the one you're crushing on..No one seemed more right. more handsome... and sometimes maybe just the personality ... it just makes you appreciate them.

Well if not anything else they at least made me confident about one thing. That i was straight. And of all these people when i see them now, i feel like i am the only sane person left in this world... and what the hell was i thinking back then...
The guy in in the opposite balcony he went to London.. thought my world almost crashed.. but then i realized what a weirdo he was... now when i think bout what i liked in him ...it was probably the way he stammered. :P (OK now i think i am the weirdo ) .... Mech proff .. holy god.. why and how... he was the strictest prof ever and maybe the most crazy one too.. he was bald and married... i haven't still figured out that one ... probably cause i was good at mechanics... let cute friends remain cute friends...they are better that way... and CSI well you can understand. he was smart and 'in demand' in college and plus he dint mind talking to me.. though i never figured out why he would lie to me about his company name. and how 'crushed' was i to think 'paint cannon' was actually a name someone could give their company... i mean what was i thinking... anyways.. guess i just dint want to tell him how stupid it was.. people call their company 'apple' and 'mango' so i wasn't totally insane in thinking that could be a name ....anyways... well now when i realize he lied to me. it kinda irritates me.... May back then i shouldn't have listened to him ... just given him my point of view... well that's another lesson you got to mature to learn about ...

Sometime i probably feel i should have gone or should go and speak to these people as i would now.. but then again maybe let them remain the crazy chapters in my life that dint ever have any 'The Ends' to them.

puppy power...

I was taking a walk on the road next to my house a few days back

 when i saw a small lil cute fellow on the side of road. He was all muddy and some black stains, busy playing with some rocks and stuff. I dunno why but me and my friend both thought he was a hungry puppy...so we rush to he nearest store and get him a pack of biscuits. My friend is terrified of dogs though i don't have any recored of them being injurious to his health in anyway. So well I took a piece off n offered it to him, but he was more interested in licking my hand than in the biscuit. So i assumed that probably he doesn't have his teeth yet so he can't bite the biscuit , so i powdered it n put it on my fingers to let him lick it ...he came close and sniffed at it but nah ...not a tiny speck down his throat. I noticed he did have teeth though. Then i thought maybe he needed some milk but sadly no milk vendors were there on that road. The puppy just played with me for a lil while and then took off to some other part of the road where I could not folow it. Guess he just needed some fun. This sweet lil darling just came in my life for 10 minutes and brought a huge smile on my face. I have christened him 'dubbu' as he was the dirtiest but cutest doggie ever..and dubbu is abbreviated form of "du = dust, bu= bunny" which are those small lil dust balls u find under your bed suddenly if you dont clean very often.

Dubbu... hope you find lot of food to eat and grow up to be a healthy doggie and a llil (can't hope for much looking at his chilhood habbits) clean doggie. :P

PS: In the pic you can see Dubbu in action.

Cooking lessons...

One of the dreaded things , at least for me before i leave for my masters, is the cooking lessons i am subjected to at home. I should say more than cooking lessons they have turned out to be a torture of a poor soul who is exploited because the angle cant cook..  :p

So since i cannot cook complete meals as yet i get the task of cutting onions, potatoes,chillies,tomatoes,lady fingers,cabbage,cauliflowers etc etc.. and basically any other ingredients you have to cut before you cook them.. :|  After i have cut most of the stuff i get the task of cleaning up. If by chance me and mom are watching TV together .. miraculously ...just out of the blue.. (I need to find which puts these shows on air) a cookery show starts...The lady blabbers n blabbers and cooks some yummy looking dish, which my mom was some how looking for from a few days...and instead of writing the ingredients down she interrogates me to know the ingredients and the method.She calls them revision lectures. And i have to repeat. Its like De-ja Vu..reminds of the vivas during my engineering days.Making tea in the afternoon,breakfasts for sunday mornings (if i am not making it..i still have to stand and watch), fast fix recepies when mom wants to go someplace all have cozily snuggled into my daily timetable.

I am proud to say i can now distinguish between curry powder, garam masala, asafotida and various other similar looking powders that sit in our spice box. And no matter how much i crib i have to admit somewher i have started enjoying making these simple meals and experimenting with them. May it be Dal Tadka,spanish omlets,bhendi fry or exotic spinach Pasta. It definitely tastes much much tastier when you know you have made it and it gives a lot of pleasure to see your family relish and praise you for your 1st attempts even though sometimes i can taste the extra salt i have dropped in :)


PS: Image of the really delicious Spinach Pasta i had cooked along with my sister.Trust me its tastes better than it looks :)

Dreamer..

When I walk through the flowers,

I'm an adventurer.

With my best friend,

I am a friend forever.

when I play my guitar,

I am a rock star,

When I hear of heroic tales,

I am the hero of war.

When I follow my heart,

I am a fighter.

When I pickup my pen,

I am a writer.

through my tears with mom,

I am a daughter.

when I read a book,

I live through the character.

When you place your heart with me,

I am your lover,

When i run away on my own

I am a wanderer.

I am all of these,

and I am none.

I am one of you.

I am the one.

I live in my dreams

I find them sweeter.

I am a free spirit

or perhaps just a Dreamer.

PS: Pic taken from google images

Fairytale

you sit across the river so far away,

you there,and me over here,

we have so much to tell, but nothing to say.

i can barely see your eyes but i see beyond,

you can barely read my lips but follow every twitch,

none in a hurry to be gone

the air that you breath ,whispers my name

Slowly it flows between my hair, my fingers

we want to cross over but we are enjoying this game

you try to be charming running your hands through your hair,

sun's shining on your face, my dimples give me away

i want to run to you but  i sit and stare.

the winds change and i close my eyes,

your  image lingers,so does a smile

the day crumbles underneath the night skies

everything stays but you're gone,

what was it i wonder

a dream ? an apparition?, but it felt so strong

what just hit me i cannot comprehend

where did the part go where we run into each others arms,

perhaps thats just how the love stories in fairytales end.

PS: Image taken from  photos.igougo.com

Friends Forever

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

 As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So many people walk in and out of our lives every single day. I once read somewhere that everyone who walks into your life is there for a reason.They fulfill the task , the reason, that they had come for and leave. They may not leave long lasting footprints on your life but somewhere something changes. No matter how small or how finite.  
This thought for all of them who have came and are lost somewhere in my mind and for all who came and decide to stay(Lucky me).
 I have been of of the lucky few who ended up having a huge group of friends when i was in college. Though college was fun, i hardly think I knew how important they were to meet until we all were out of college and there was just  no time to meet. I don't know how we have kept it together as yet but we meet often enough to be just as up to date with each others lives as we were in college.The gossip still goes on and jokes still are extremely funny.We all have much more money in our pockets now and our expenditures have gone way way up. Vodka replaces the coke and branded clothes the off the road linking road shopping, rickshaws and buses are replaced by cars and bikes... but what remains the same is the crazy name calling (vakola bombshell , scratchy, weedly , pappy, ava, dabs, daddy,chameeto,shrimp...), the inclusion of us who suck at it  in the sports being played, the times when we sill have to sit down on the road cause we have ended up having  laughter fit over something silly said to someone or about someone....  the list goes on and all of this is so much a part of me now. What these people got to my life is life itself. I dont think i knew what friends were before i met these people. I love all of them so much . No matter where in the world i maybe. There will never be a group of people in my life i will love as much as i love these guys.None i could live with so easily and none i can forgive any faster no mater what they do.

Next came the huge big bad world of work and all the formal relationships that come along with it  and just when i thought i will never meet any friends here i met a few more. Some religiously crazy, some that never grew up, some that loved to dance ..one gal that i met for a few months and i know will stay in my life forever(and if she ever reads this i am sure she will comment 'How cheesy'...), one friend who is the craziest senior i have ever met :P ..Days went by listening to film stories and gossips. The only reason i think i dint find the corporate world so cruel was because of these people. And now that yet another chapter is about to begin i have two more friends in my life who have lit up my world. Chating till two bout hottest film stars and sobbing bout incomplete assignments. We just have built a world of our own.

These people who have walked into my life have not just left their footprints in my life but covered me completely ..immersed me in their light. They have made me see things in a way i would i refused to agree existed in the 1st place. Their company provides a place where i cant resist being me no matter how hard i try . They make me who i am. Cant thank them enough for just being here with me.

PS: Pic taken at pre new year bash while strolling on the beach.

The stalker Apple..

Don't be fooled by the innocent look of that red,sweet,juicy ..Monster....Its a dangerous thing armed with deadly force behind it  called 'The MOM'.

So this was a few days back when i was still at work and my days were super busy to notice anything but my comp screen. A day before my mom got these lovely looking apples and decided that all of us at home need to include a fruit in our diet . So the next day she wraps this fella up and puts him in my purse .. and there he sits snugly .. i  go happily to work thinking ... "ok so i take him out at 11 am and finish him off" but the things that i plan usually never happen.. So he sits there quietly when i go n have breakfast (i should have eaten him then) ... and the i don't get hungry at 11..i see that fella still sitting tight in my purse and just one thought in my mind.. "If i don't eat him m mom will eat me..." So i take him out.. oh he is sooo cold... but then again i keep him back ... next is lunch ... now how can any sensible ,'not on diet' gurl ever have apple for lunch ?? So i go n have my usual plateful of food and there is this one friend in office who is married and is recently pregnant so i get a scandalous idea... How bout i could make her eat this apple ...(In the name of health of course... and c'mon it wud actually be good for her .. ) but nah ... the stalker stays with me.. in my purse faithfully... so next chance it cud have is at 4. pm... but then again .. as fate would have it .. i am in mood for tea and c'mon .. tea and apples do not .. i mean absolutely do not go down together... so he is still there watching me with his cold pink cheeks.. so i decide to bury him further inside in my bag..

and so the time goes by  .. m on my way home.. and i know he is still there and i know 'mom is going to stare .. mom is going to give those weird looks '. I come home and i forget the most important thing ever .. to unwrap and keep the monster in the fridge. So my mom comes and sees this monster in my purse and the eyebrows are up and the apple is out .. he is out of the wrapper .. and my mom is goin on on and on about how she worries bout our health and how irresponsible i am for doin this .. and how could i keep such a nice apple that she got after such a lot of effort and such a long walk and that i should be ashamed... i think  she said the last sentence about 10 times.. i mite have actually punched someone and not got to hear so much from the police as much as from the colonel mom ... and then she got a knife...cut it ... and fed it to me rite then and there ..i bet that apple was laughing at me all the way...for the whole day...


Moral of the story : If your mom wants to get something in your tummy ... no matter what happens she will get it there.

PS: Thats the pic of the monster stalker apple..

Chicken soup for the lost soul...

What is this life if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare..

  by WH Davis

A whole day at home working on things i get my self tangled into and then  complain about having no time what - so - ever for any of the things i would love to actually get myself tangled into.
It was a  lazy sunday evening when my  family was debating bout the best way to spend it. We crossed out the local markets and malls.. I was just in no mood to get myself back into closed air-conditioned rooms (even though they literally spell heaven in summers)It just gets really suffocating sometimes. My mom practically had a huge list ready that she absolutely had to get .. but there was no way she could blackmail me into tagging along today so i decided to blackmail them into coming tagging along with me instead.
Now I am going to be 'leaving on a jet plane' in a few month's time and hence my parents are in a very easily blackmail-able stage. So we three musketeers me, mom and dad decided we need to get some fresh air flowing through our veins and headed out to Bandra Bandstand.
We were just about to park when a blue exotic car (Since i don't speak car i don't know the make or the company  and plus it din't have a name behind in case your thinking i am blind not to read it). I am totally sure it belonged to some highty flighty celeb as so many people thronged bout to get a look at who ever that was there in that blue mystery car. The car turned into a nearby building and well the people just being curious about who's following , never know who we mite see attitude were all staring right into my car and at the back seat where i was sitting extremely confused and wondering which celeb did i just missed seeing. So well the people saw me in all my messed up glorry ,got disappointed and finally made way for our ordinary car to pass and park somewhere on the side. I stepped out of the car and the wind just hits you. The air faintly smells of fish and wet sea rocks. I realize that because thats where most of the small fishing boats were parked and where there are fishing boats there ought to be fishes ..dead alive dried something atleast. So we jump over the barrier and almost pull my mom on the other side even though its just barely 2 feet tall.. the Road is filled with families, dogs and their owners, lovers, friends and loads of frolicking children. I thought 'All these people just knew how best to spend a perfect sunday evening ..with people they love' We walked along the cost filled with ragged rocks.. the tide was low but the sea still looked beautiful. The lovers and the adventurous mavricks had made their way right down to the rocks that touched the waves and sat there either locked in each others arms or challenging their friends to stand on this rock or jump from that one. 

Celebrity houses lined up on the other side of the road which my dad kept wondering aloud and guessing which one belonged to whom.
We finally found a nice spot with loads of wind and no extra snugly couples in our direct line of sight..(Watching that, with your parents watching you is so devastatingly embarrassing even though you aren't doin a thing..:Strange but true..)
The sun set at almost the same time as we settled down ..It kinda dissolved into mist that settles just above the surface of the see and far away at the horizon ..So it appears that the sun just vanished mid air befor it could actually touch the sea and be like extinguished..poof..but being summer there was enough light to see clearly all around..The lights started coming on at the far corners of the coast.. Roads lit up. Who said the sunsets in a busy city with blinding lights aren't as beautiful as seen from some precarious cliff or a point 5000ft high and surrounded by the jungle.. I saw one just as beautiful at half an hour drive from home..

We sat there dangling our feet above the rocks , our shoes kept safely behind us and feeling the cool wind run between our toes talking bout things that somehow don't seem to creep up in normal conversations at home. Dad talking bout nostalgic moments can be weired at times.. Well we sat that way till it got too dark to tell if our chappals were still in place and not stolen .. .and walked back to car.. Naturally we forgot how the place where we parked the car at looked like.. And plus being dark was all the more distracting.. Just as we thought it was towed away and would need a search mission we found it phew parked a few meters ahead of our wandering point...
That wasn't the end of our adventures though, We  couldn't even find the road that connects bandra to the highway.. i cant believe after living 20 years in the same city this would be possible.. but yeah so we ended up driving the longer route home .. and just as if preplanned our favorite Chinese place shows up.. and we decide to take a break and complete our journey with some chicken soup for the soul.. In our case for the lost souls.. Yummiest soup ever..

Footnote: Pic Taken at Bandra bandstand inspired by 'wake up Sid' and yes those are my dear feet.

Wuthering Heights

There must definitely be something bout the classics so fondly mentioned by all the ardent readers I have encountered till date.So i thought why not give it a try.Anyways the  books in my house outnumber the furniture items at any given point.Classics would i suppose just add to the beauty.

So i picked the one i thought would be a love story written in english simple enough for me to understand before i go drowning into serious classics.Wuthering Heights - the name itself creates suspense about the contents. As queer the name so is the story. I am an ardent fan of dashing  heroes who have a dark emotional side and looked at Heathclif (the hero of this book) with exactly the same viewpoint when he was 1st introduced. But i was so completely wrong. This book goes far far away from the usual love filled romance stories .Instead it binds a tale of characters with destructive self pride and revenge. It has a love story hidden somewhere in its midst that just raises all the passion when the lovers part. And even though the ending is happy its comes out of mere adjustments than of anyone braving the world to conquer all .. .conquer love..

The haughty and saucy Catherine Earnshaw described like someone with more guts than most guys .. I doubt if she would give up her love cause he doesnt match her standings in the society .. That just doesn't go downwell  with me. Or possibly the fact that i dont come from a society where i believe in such deeply rooted class distinction. That reason just make any sense to me.

Some scenes though are heart wrenching.
like when : catherine is about to die and Heathclif for the 1st time lets his feelings show rather heard.
The scene could bring tears to your eyes.
’May she wake in torment!’ he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion. ‘Why, she’s a liar to the end! Where is she? Not THERE - not in heaven - not perished - where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer - I repeat it till my tongue stiffens - Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you - haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!’



Dont ask me why but i love this scene.. Its when Catherine who is catherines daughter(earlier catherine's) decides to be friends with her cousin Haereton.
"She returned to the hearth, and frankly extended her hand. He blackened and scowled like a thunder-cloud, and kept his fists resolutely clenched, and his gaze fixed on the ground. Catherine, by instinct, must have divined it was obdurate perversity, and not dislike, that prompted this dogged conduct; for, after remaining an instant undecided, she stooped and impressed on his cheek a gentle kiss. The little rogue thought I had not seen her, and, drawing back, she took her former station by the window, quite demurely. I shook my head reprovingly, and then she blushed and whispered - ‘Well! what should I have done, Ellen? He wouldn’t shake hands, and he wouldn’t look: I must show him some way that I like him - that I want to be friends.’
Whether the kiss convinced Hareton, I cannot tell: he was very careful, for some minutes, that his face should not be seen, and when he did raise it, he was sadly puzzled where to turn his eyes."



this book is selfish cruel smeared with ego and pride woven with characters who do not have impeccable caracters ..but alas this book is HUMAN.

FootNote: Thats the pic of my copy of my very 1st classic read.

To do before i die...

I resigned. Wow what a feeling..well but this post aint about how i resigned and how relieved i feel now that i have(It feels awesome) nor am i going to go rambling bout my bosses and their bosses.. Lord knows they all are made of the same gooey stuff.

This is about the point in time when i had to submit my resignation. Just one click on that deadly 'Send' button and a lot of things in life would change. It took me 10 minutes to just get my fingers to move enough to accept that i was ready to close that chapter in my life and start a new one and just 'click'.

I did finally, and  realized that this was one of my 1st of many times that i would resign from a company and just like that a thought crossed over my mind..Gosh one life and its just ticking away... 10 minutes to click a send.. when am i going to do those 100's of things that i  totally absolutely desperately need to do before i die???

So here i go .. i have decided to make a list of things that i  need to and just insanely want to do before i die..
I may cross out things later or add more.. its just my personal compilation so that i am inspired to take that one step when i absolutely need to to change the chapter in my life turn over the page and start a new one.

1 - .Go dancing in the rain.
2 - Learn to ballroom dancing (i'm deadly bad at that)
3 - Be able to finish marathon in respectable time
4 - Attend a prom night(No prom's in my country :(  )
5 - Sleep on the beach under the sky and where i can hear the waves.
6 - Drive at 100m/h on a straight road with the top down and music turned to full
7 - Fall completely totally insanely madly desperately blindly in love. (the kind where there is no living without)
8 - Learn to surf.
9 - Learn a foreign language and use it with a native.
10 - Kiss someone impulsively.
11 - Go on a blind date.
12  - Sing at a kareoke bar.
13 - Go on a impromptu trip.
14 - Go on a around - the - world tour.
15 - swim in the sea at night.
16 - Dance till i drop.Till i have to take a day off just for me to feel my legs again.
17 - Learn to play the guitar really well.
18 - Learn to play the violin.
19 - Get married on a beach(no guests required).
20 - learn to love myself minus the numbers(weight, age,etc etc..)
21 - Bungee jump.
22 - swim with dolphins.
23 - have a pet dog
24 - spoil someone.
25 - take up photography professionally.
26 - Own a motorbike and learn to drive it really well.
27 - Go on a cruise for a week at least.
28 - Witness a miracle
29 - get a tattoo
30 - sky-dive
31 - go one a dinner and waltz date on a pier



Will keep updating... i have so many more.. just all jumbled up in my mind somewhere right now.

The bus ride home..

Every morning while having my daily bowl of cereal i try to find myself among the 30+ pages of political potpourri delivered at my doorstep. Following which everyday after spending 10 merciless hours spent in front of the computer at about 7 pm in the evening i take my bus home .Everyday i just close my eyes and wish i could fall asleep for those 2 slow hours that i take to get home. Today i decided differently. I opened my window wide open and decided to keep my eyes open the entire journey. Plugged my music on and thus began a different journey.As everyday i passed the place that has this factory that makes spices. tucked into some narrow corner of the road. I have tried this before but never found out where exactly its located but the smell is just so intense..and the crazy tumble began and the questions just randomly popped into my head. Do people who live around that factory smell like these spices all the time. They must be ..they spend their lives surrounded by it.I almost smirked at the thought of entering a conference with 'garam masala ' deodrant on me..
I looked up and saw a high rise that had a certain floor who had its wall removed. It just had a parfait and no walls.. Looked spooky wonder why would anybody need such an apartment. Note to self: A mystery to be solved later.Passed the oh so familiar bridge next and with that came the 1st glimpse of clear sky. With no hoardings to obstruct my view and the summer light still holding up.Something felt so wrong with the sky...So many clouds today on supposedly bright summer evening .My music switched to linking park it went on "and the clouds above moved closer looking so dissatisfied..." .'how did my music player know what happening' was all i wondered. Well scene changed and i passed the IIT's..Do you really think that that's the place where legends are born?? well no mood for debates today.. Next the lake came to my view.. so beautiful with the sunlight just about there..Its changed and i have noticed long after winter.It has its signs to welcome the summer..Weeds and possibly Hyacinth's growing on its surface almost covered all the edges like its drawing up its blanket against the cool night breeze.

Do you know sometimes you listen to a particular song and it just surges through your blood..Makes you want to let down your hair..let the wind blow..go running on a beach.. and feel so surreal..No matter how cheesy corny and stupid it may sound.. i know i do feel like that.. and for today it was 'Crazy by Aerosmith'..That song just gets me high.. Breeze next to the lake..Bus moving without traffic and the song playing so loudly i culdn't hear anything else.. Its was a dream sequence...Only difference i discovered it on a just everyday ordinary evening ..on just another everyday bus ride with just another song playing on my everyday music player.. :)

I reached home fresher than i ever have in the past 18 months of my everyday journey on this very same road for 5 days of every week.

I let my hair down and walked home today..with Crazy on Repeat...

Footnote: Pic taken from my bus window at the risk of being called crazy by all those who were traveling along and staring at me.